Feel the ick and do it anyway
The almost impossible art of hustling without looking like you're hustling
Something happened in our WhatsApp community a few weeks ago that I want to talk about.
Someone asked for a recommendation.
“Does anyone know someone brilliant at graphic design?”
That is exactly what the group is for. Someone with a need, sitting in a room full of people who can meet it.
Then the replies started coming in.
“Happy to have a look if you think I might be qualified.”
“Is it okay if I put myself in the ring?”
“Sorry, hope I'm not too late to the party.”
“Would love to see the brief, if that's alright.”
Talented people. Genuinely talented. Freelancers and small business owners who very qualified for the work. And almost every one of them opened with an apology.
I shared a sentiment in the group at the time and I want to say it again here.
No one needs to apologise for putting themselves forwards for work.
It was not a cold call. Nobody barged into a stranger’s inbox. Someone asked, out loud, in a room built for exactly this, whether anyone could do a piece of work. Putting your hand up is not an imposition. It is the answer to the question.
My observation is that the apology is not really about manners. It is about the ick.
The ick is the feeling that arrives every time you feel like you have to ‘sell yourself’ when what you really want to do is the work.
The sense that you are taking up space, being pushy or being seen to want something, or looking like you need the work. Which, if you are freelance or you run a small business in this industry, you often do. Our work is project based. It ends. Then you go and find more.
Nobody enjoys that feeling. The people who keep working are not the ones who have got rid of it. They are the ones who press send while still feeling the ick.
Here are five things I have found that make that easier.
1. Answer the question. Do not pitch.
There is a difference between "I’ve got twelve years’ experience and a real passion for brand storytelling" and "I build sites like this, here’s one I did for a similar venue, happy to talk."
The first is a pitch, and it feels like one to write.
The second is information. It is the answer to what was actually asked.
Most of the ick comes from thinking you are selling. Reframe it as answering and it gets much easier to type.
2. Take the apology out.
Small swaps, and they matter.
“Sorry, hope I’m not too late” becomes: “Still keen if the brief is open.”
“Happy to look if you think I’m qualified” becomes: “This is what I do, happy to take a look.”
“Is it okay if I put myself forward” becomes: “Putting myself forward.”
3. Write the line before you need it.
One sentence. What you do, who you do it for, one piece of proof.
“I design and build sites for venues and attractions, most recently for [name]. Happy to send a couple of examples.”
Save it somewhere you can reach in ten seconds.
4. Be visible in the months you are not looking.
This is the part that stops the hustle looking like hustle.
If the only time anyone hears from you is the moment you need work, every message you send carries that weight, and you can feel it as you type.
If you are around anyway, recommending other people, answering things you will never bill for, sharing something you have learned, then raising your hand is just another thing you did that week. It reads as normal because it is normal.
5. The ick returns when you send the price. Send it anyway.
Worth naming, because this is usually where the apology reappears.
The discount offered before anyone has asked for one. The "but I’m flexible" added to the end of a number. The rate dropped to make the awkwardness go away.
This industry already pays less in cash terms than plenty of others for the same skills. Talk about budget and talk about scope. But do not use your price as an apology for having put yourself forward in the first place.
I have been doing this a long time and I still feel the ick. I just don't let it decide anything.
Dawn (refusing to let ‘ick’ win)